This week, my e-mail account was flooded with Sarah Palin SPAM, also known as SPAL-AM. Sarah Palin in a red-white-and-blue bikini, wielding an assault rifle, a grotesque configuration of hydrogen molecules post-exposure to Sarah Palin's vice presidential nomination speech, Sarah Palin the Wolf Killer, Sarah Palin the Book-Banner, etc... etc... DNC anti-Palin SPAM. SPAM from various outreach groups: Concerned Mothers Against Sarah Palin (CMASP), People Having Nightmares About Sarah Palin (PHNASP), Sarah Palin Ate My Aborted Baby (SPAMAB), and so on.
I say ENOUGH! I do not want to hear any more about this crazy bee-yatch. She's everyone's new negative obsession.
This message was recently left on my answering machine: "Call me. I've just got to vent about Sarah Palin."
A slice of burnt toast flies out of my toaster with BURN IN HELL, S.P. carved on it.
OK, OK, I carved that toast myself with the little doohickey tool in my fingernail clippers, but still. If this response isn't like sending a shipment of free cotton candy to every bile-spewing Limbaugh Republican, I don't know what is.
It's time Oprah stood up and gave a public service announcement to democrats. Hello! Remember THE SECRET??? Stop focusing on what you hate, and start focusing on what you want. (What do I want, anyway?)
Send me a link about a planet full of unicorns. A U-tube video of Obama practicing free throws or of that kitten and its cute mechanical mouse. How about a nice benevolent chain letter? A schmaltzy feel-good anecdote, even one that rhymes, would even be OK at this point. But please, no more SPAM about her.
